Advice for College Seniors

 

As college seniors get ready to graduate and move to the next stage of their lives, there may be a few who will contemplate pursuing a squash career. Having been there once myself, I offer a few words of wisdom:

First, as any good ski bum knows, a job can really get in the way of hedonistically pursuing a sport. Besides that, it is much easier to get a court in a big city at 10:30 in the morning than before or after work. Of course, it is even easier to get a court while you are still in college.

Which brings me to my second point: why graduate so soon? The Russians developed the five-year plan, and in an age of détente, why shouldn’t we apply some of the cool rules of Karl Marx? Sure, I know it might be hard, but apply yourself. Take a few semester-long breaks to work on your drop-shot in Australia or take a pre-med courseload and write an essay on *ahem* “Attempts at Biological Reproduction and its Effects on Competitive Physiological Performance” (hint: you’ll probably fail the class, but you’ll have a lot of fun researching the subject, and, of course, getting an F = longer college plan).

Unhappily, your parents might eventually tire of doling out the monthly checks, and you may be forced to graduate. Once you do, don’t forget about the obligatory post-graduate, pre-work trip to Europe. Why not hang out with your friends, and when they decide to try to materialistically cash in on their degrees, you can claim the high road by staying in Europe and pursuing your “dream of excellence in squash racquets.” Hey, I’m telling you, using that line may bring unexpected opportunities to do some additional post-grad research on your thesis topic.

What? You aren’t British Open champ yet? It may be time to pay the bills. In order to allow yourself time to learn to really snap that backhand overhead into the nick, you need to get a job that you don’t care about. The worse the job, the better. That way, when things really suck, you can just quit and go play squash. Whatever you do, though, don’t get a job as a teaching pro. They get to eat well, hang out with nice people, and play squash whenever they want. You need to be hungry, dammit! I’m warning you: don’t do it.

(And, by the way, ignore the stories of people like Mike Desaulniers and Vic Niederhoffer who successfully combined Wall Street careers and #1 World rankings. I mean, how many times were each of them number one? Two, three? That’s pocket change for someone with goals like you.)

Okay, let’s talk about relationships. I know most of you are wondering whether you can have a lover and compete successfully in the squash arena (I do seem to keep coming back to this, don’t I?). I say, go for it, for whatever the result, you can use it to your advantage. Here’s how:

Let’s say you win the Nationals. You get to look particularly modest when you thank your partner for all the support. If, on the other hand, you lose, it was probably due to the fact that your partner just doesn’t understand your commitment and drive. You look good either way, and remember, this is all about you – any partner who doesn’t understand that is too selfish for you, anyway.

But let’s get real. If you are really going to pursue excellence, you are going to have to train. Training takes time. But one of the best discoveries in athletics in the last ten years has been the importance of rest in training. In fact, even in interval training, it has been shown that if you let your body fully recover between sprints, then you are better able to push yourself all out for the sprint, and this, they say is better for conditioning.

This has been welcome news for someone like me. Last year, I made it a goal to get up to fifteen consecutive quarter-mile sprints. I did my first one right after I read the article, and I think I am almost ready to try another. Like I said, training takes time.

And what if, despite all my sage advice, you fail in your attempts to be all that you can be in squash? You may have to go back to the drawing board, you may have to regroup in the locker room, you may have to take stock of where you are and start again. You may have to… go to graduate school.